Sunday, March 14, 2010

A Story That Probably Only I Find Funny, but I REALLY Think it's Funny, About Death, Car Accidents, Blizzards and Broken Knees.

I swear to you that as far-fetched as this story sounds, every word of it is true.

It all started with my sister falling down her attic stairs and breaking her knee. She had to wear a big brace on her leg, and she couldn't get around too well. Luckily, she had her husband to help her out.

About a week later, I'm in work and get a call from my sister saying that she just got a call from the police, and they told her that my aunt had died. It was a sudden death, probably from a heart attack, and she was found by a neighbor at her senior housing complex.  As sudden as it was, she was older so it wasn't a complete shock.

Because of my sister's hurt leg, she couldn't drive up to my aunt's apartment, and unless she took the brace off, she couldn't even fit in her husband's car, and she wasn't supposed to take the brace off. So I agreed to shoot over to the senior complex, to meet up with my uncle (my aunt's brother), and with the police. My sister said my brother-in-law would meet me there in about an hour.

I go over there, and the undertaker has already taken her away, so there is really nothing for me to do but sit and console my uncle, and wait for the police and my brother-in-law.

And we wait, and wait. No police, no brother-in-law. I try calling my sister, but there is no answer on her cell phone, nor her home phone, which is really odd, since she supposedly can't leave the house.

My uncle and I are starting to get worried now, since there is a big snow storm coming, and we want to be home before it hits. Finally, I tell him to go, and I'll stay and wait for the police and my brother-in-law.

Two hours later, neither show and no one is answering my sister's phones.

I give up and go home.

I stop at the grocery store along the way home, since a blizzard is about to hit and of course, no one else will think about going to the store on a night like that.

After I fight my way through the mobbed the store, I get home, put my feet up and hunker in for the big storm, still wondering what happened to my sister and her husband.

Then SHIT! I forgot the groceries in the car. I head out to get them. I live on the tenth floor. The elevator is broken. Double SHIT! I hike down 10 flights, only to realize I locked my keys in my apartment. Triple SHIT!

I called all the phone numbers I had for people on the board of directors of my condo building, to get someone to get my extra key out of the office and let me in. Of course, no one is home, because the are all out shopping to prepare for the impending storm.

I use to work in a group home on the first floor of the building, so I went in there to wait out the return of someone who could help me with the key situation. I walked in, and I guess all the frustration hit me at once because I burst into hysterical sobbing and couldn't even tell them what was wrong. I finally managed to get it, and they were so wonderful and so sympathetic to me. They fed me dinner and let me wait it out.

My cell phone rings (thank goodness I had that with me.) It's not someone on the board as I had thought, but my sister's neighbor. Seems that my sister had decided to disobey the doctor's orders and take off her brace and drive up with her husband. Then her husband had a coughing fit in the car, passed out and hit another car head on. They were both taken to the hospital in an ambulance. She couldn't call until then, because she couldn't turn her cell phone on in the hospital. They were keeping her husband in the hospital, but sending her home. Her neighbor was going to go get her, but she would need someone to stay with her until her husband got out of the hospital. Which, of course, would be me, but I can't get into my apartment.

Finally I get a call that someone is coming to help me.  She comes, gives me the extra key, and I have to climb the ten flights to my apartment. Then back down ten flights to give her the key back. Then go to my car and carry groceries up ten flights. Then pack a bag, then head down ten flights again. At this point, I'm completely out of breath and wheezing like an old steam engine.

I was beginning to worry that my aunt's funeral wouldn't be the only one my family would be attending that week.

Luckily, the storm hadn't started yet, so I'd have plenty of time to get to my sister's house before it started.

At least that seemed like it was possible. Really, the way things were going, what made me think that the drive to my sister's house would be easy? Naturally, the snow started when I was about half way there. I literally could NOT see where I was going. I judged that I was on the highway by crawling along the white line on the break down lane. I was honestly never so terrified of a drive in my life. I nearly got out and kissed the ground when I got to her house, but I would have been immediately buried in snow and they wouldn't have found me until spring.

And apparently the police had been to my aunt's building, but despite the fact that my sister told them at the scene of the accident that the needed to find me and tell me what had happened, the went into the office of the building and left without ever looking for me.

Now staying with my sister was an adventure. We are very different people, it's hard to imagine that we are even related. The weekend started off nice, but ended like "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane".  I was never so happy to see my brother-in-law walk through that door as I was that day, and thrilled to put that weekend behind me.


  1. Lynne you are braver than I could ever be.

  2. I think you need to write a short story book, this is a best seller already...